Boring-size

Dear Mars, Inc.,

Why would you want to point out the deficiencies in your current products by claiming your mini-packages of M&Ms and other candies come in “fun size” packages? I do not understand this. I am a regular consumer of M&M chocolate candies, and often purchase them from the vending machine at work. These are regular-size packages, and I have been happily eating them at work for years. But after eating several packages of “fun size” M&Ms on Halloween, I have noticed the packages I get at work do not claim to be “fun size.” Regular, large packages are never “fun size.”

Even if your full size packages are not fun, I do not appreciate you pointing out their boringness. I do not think I can ever eat a normal size package of M&Ms chocolate candies without wistfully longing for a package that promises “fun” while I eat them. I now think “boring size” every time I look at regular bags of M&Ms.

I have a suggestion on how you can rectify this terrible tragedy.

Microsoft recently came out with a new and cheaper version of their Xbox. This new version of the Xbox sucks really bad. It does not have a hard drive, does not have wireless controllers, and overall is way worse than the original Xbox. The new version costs $150 less than the regular Xbox that has all the amenities. You don’t see Microsoft calling the old Xbox “Awesome Xbox” because that would sadden owners of the new and sucky Xbox, because their Xbox sucks and is not awesome.

Thus, I strongly feel you should follow Microsoft’s example and call all of your M&M packages “fun size M&Ms.” Otherwise I will be sad every time I eat M&Ms that are not fun, because I will know just how inadequate my M&Ms really are. Thank you for your prompt action in this matter.

Sincerely,

Chris